navyaa-

2008-02-26T18:23:00.000-08:00

i got my resultsssssssssss!!! and it was GOOODDDD! :D
i made it i made it i made it!! cudnt believe it seriously..
i mean trust me , though my gut feelings always said God will help me out.
but still... after alll the shit of sins i have been doing non stop.
How could He still be soo gracious towards me ??
i know how much i had studied. and i also know how much i shud have been deserving of.
BUT i got wayyyyyyy more than it.
None of the credit goes to me , really.
and one more thing?
God is really GREAT!

anws, apart from the results being the only good news.
life has been quite an easy ride.
i mean its been a bliss for a while and i doubt smthg is gonna crash this time?
hehe. cos smhow it always happens with me.
things always seems to go on a peaceful pace at first.
but later on, it just messes up itself due to my own stupidity. hah..
anws, Family's been great. Frens are the best ever as usual. Work is Good.
ANDDDDDDDD...
Sanal's been a sweetheart totally.
Not that i admire/like him or anything of the sort.
mind it both uma and saihah, i really dont feel any of the sort. :)
Just that he's been really nice. Nothing more.
So why shud i be messing it up with my high drunk self once a while??
cos thers nothing to mess up. simple as that.
like however diplomatic i may sound but still , me and him are just Good frens! :) hahaha.
uma , if u happen to read this before i tell u myself,
Sanal wants to meet me tmrw evening. And ur cordially invited along whether u like it or not. haha.

hmm. totally slacking at work now.
compared to kenneth and the amount of work he does, im earning easy cash man, seriously! lol.

by the way,
I miss CALVIN like loads and loads! :(
it seems like ages since i met him ever since he went for NS.
Dude, if u happen to read this , we four are meeting up this weekend SOMEHOW okay??? :)
sooo gotta meet up with the twin sisters too ( nikki and nitisha) .
missing them like crazyyyy! :)
clubbing plans are up again.
supposedly to be on next weekend. tis time with the boys as well.
Saihah seems really addicted to clubbing or smthg, thanks to me. lol
And yeah ive just been partying too much lately. :)

blogging can be such a drag at tymes. hah.
im supposed to be giving Sanal a wake up call later.
That kiddo would create hell if he misses his gym workouts and his work. hahaa.
okayy im off to meet the rest now.
gonna try and make it to catch the shuttle bus!
finally off for a breakk..!!
though i always seem to be on breaks. haha.
goodbye homosaphiens.

p.s. apologies to Shyam for blasting my temper against him in the previous entry.
sorry dude. i was just too pissed off.
but i hope u wud atleast get me now??
hmm.

2008-02-24T06:09:00.000-08:00

im finally 19!
bday week was a blasttt.
i hadd amazing amount of fun with all my special ones..
thanks for EVERYTHING guys. :) the party. the suprises. the presents. the TOTAL fun!! thanks for it all. :) u know whu u are.
and also, thanks to my familyyyy for the best presents and the suprises!
and plus thanks to the loadss and loadss of ppl whu had wished me!
i really liked it alll veryyyyyy much. :)
im totally blessed to have the greatest family and frens of all! :)

anws.. apart frm that,
we ended of the bday week with a perfect clubbing night out with my girls.
eliane had joined us this time and filled up the place of soumi. hehe.
and suprisingly sahil came to meet me all the way at CQ in the night.
seeing him after three months definitely brought back sm memories.
but just like how uma puts it off, i shudnt be botherred about it as well.
though i got irritated with herr for being sooo sucky about him. hehe.
sorry babes. i get it atleast yeah?
he was a jerk. he is a jerk. he will always be a jerk. yeah , right on. lol.

okay anws.. first part of the clubbing was a bore smwht.
dj sucked. songs sucked. dance sucked.
but still smwht made the best outta it.
anws, the dj gott wayy better along the way. and played some of the best ones ever!
went to get drinks with eliane. had my shots and thts where it all started from.
it was crazyyyyyy after that! haha. the girls knw wht im talking about yeah??
dancing can be a mental addiction man.
suprising how music and dance relieves u of everything! :)
i bet saihah had the bestt time ever. with her giovanni. lol.
but i wasnt letting her go with it being just a one night thing.
i just had to make it smthg more for her. hahaaa.
curse me all u want , saihah. but u knwww u loved it. :) hahaaa..
as for me, i had my own share of fun!
whtever happens in the club stays in the club with us girls. hahaa.
reached home only at around 7am.
thank goodness mum din say a word abt it. which was def suprising.

the rest of the day was such a dragg.
coss i was feeling sooo lethargic. legs were killing me.
but anws, the night made it up.
the chats till 4.30am, all the phn msgs and all the talks made it all up. :) i loved it.
totally made my day despite all the fucked up things that had happened.

i mean why do ppl have to change so much?
zindagi bhi mazak ban gaya hai.
aakir kis par vishwas karu aajkal?
jo aate hai woh rehte kyunn nahi?
ya kya mujhme hi galti hai??

we called them our own. but they disappointed us to the worst extent.
they dont know how it feels to be thrown out of smthg when we had created it.
or maybe taking sides has gotten to be more impt to them.
anws, i dont even know wht to say about it.

apart from that it sucks even moree when ur closest one cant seem to understand you.
is it my mistake thatt maybe i was just trying to live up life?
confining me to a space where i cant reli get to knw anyone or socialise is not the way to treat me.
yeahh you might have never meant it in that way , i know.
you just don like me talking to random ppl and getting close to them.
i agreed its fine when it comes to ppl on the net. whu i have never met and knwn off.
thts where im wrong. and i agreed to it.
but wht about the ones thts here? are u to say that im not allowed to knw anyone here too?
socialising and being frens with ppl where u live in is no wrong as far as i see it!
u say its soo typical of me. when its just that you forget to realise that just because you don do any of the sort u expect the same from others too?
im not you. neither can i ever be like you. i cant be locked up in a cage sticking around with a few that i know off. and u very well knw that about me. still u call it typical?
get to know how much it hurts when ur own closest one judges you that way.
you dont like this and that abt me.
same way i haven liked many things of the way u behave as well.
but have u heard me mentioning it to u ever???
thats cos i always accepted u as how u were and actually adjusted to liking you for it.
but did i ever get it back? no.
in your case. when u didnt like something... u just didnt like it. period.
u didnt even for once try and adjust to liking it cos thats just how someone is!
is having fun wrong? is living up ur life wrong?
if i have ever crossed the limits of my culture or principles then you call it typical alright.
if i didnt do anything, u have no rights to judge me about it that way.
cos that just fucking hurts. esp when i hear it frm smeone like you however much of a small thing it is..
just try and put down ur anger and ego aside and try and see it from my point of view smtymes.
whenever i tried explain myself to you , wht have i got in return??
pissedd off irritated statements saying that u actually get it when u don get a fuck?!
smtymes i really dunno whts the point in all these then.

i can never be ur type. i can neverr be like you.
i was your girl once. and now im glad u got a better one. maybe she wud fit u more perfectly thn anyone cud ever do.
im gad ur happy with having her since she is right one or whtsoever.
and i also know that one day when she asks for a higher position thn anyone from you.
you will be more thn ready to give it cos after all for u, ur gf and ur love comes first before anyone.
hearing it from u once was already more thn enuff of wht might happen sooner or later.
you knw u werent unique or different from the rest.
u were exactly the same.
where u give promises using frenship and then brreak it off when u find ur love.

thts where we are different. thts where u lack of smthg.
and thats where i just lose out big time in realising whu to call my own.

and thats wht u are.

2008-02-13T07:28:00.000-08:00

what am i trying to prove here basically?
i think i do but actually i dont.
i say it out that i do but no, i dont.
or do i?

even so, why do i want it?
am i longing for it that much?

NO IM NOT!
and thats the exact damned answer.
im just.. trying to get a stand thats all.
i guess.

oh heck this, i ran around my area for a long time.
just to cool down my head.
conclusion?
i tend to believe the facade that ppl give me too easily.
we gave and took it all. now whu's to complain?
so thts fair enough.

you ppl aint gonna get a head or a tail of this entry :)

2008-02-11T22:19:00.000-08:00

when 2006 seemed to be a full on rollercoaster ride,
2007 seemed to be pretty much of a experiencing slow journey.
where u end up in situations which u have never been in before.
and u face circumstances where ur just forced to do sm things for a facade image.
and plus. You cross ur own lines to actually do things u said u would never do.
achievement? no. i wudnt say so.
anws, forget the past. its 2008.
though im like one and a half month late in saying that! hah.

okayyyyyy. im just too bored at work
hence this pathetic -i-have-got-nothing-to-say- opening para. hahaa..
GE companies for some college students are too good a choice.
not just cos its an american company which are so well recognised..
not just cos it gives u a lot of credit if u do a internship here.
its just because u happen to be just a 19 year old student. and just smhow the seniors are not gonna trust you with ANY heavy work thinking that u know nothing about the things they do.
which is true anws. the work that my collegues does here, is outta my level of knowledge.
which means.. i get loads of free time! :)

many negatives point to it too.
i feel dead sleepy but i cant sleep.
i still have to sit around impressing though i have no clue about whts going on.
oh wells, alll just for a A grade in my internship module yeah? lol.
im ready to do anything for that..

im totally freaked out about my results.
darn engineering man.
cant stand engineering any further.
how do u expect me to score on smthg which is not even of my interest??
already started looking for states uni's and admission criterias.
im changing my line. possibly to pre med majors.
and in that most likely Bsc Biology or Bsc Neuroscience specializing in neuro/human bi0/mollecular and cells.
atleast its my FAV human science field.
wanted to take psychology. but dad's against it.
but i don mind pre med as well.
gonna take my SAT papers and my Bio paper soon.
im sooooo praying to get accepted mann.

im bored updating.